Hey guys!
Long time no see! Anyone still reading? Well, hey, as long as you’re here, head on over to my Myspace! There’s a new song I recorded! Yay!
I didn’t write the song, but guess who did? JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! You love him! So you’re bound to love MY rendition!
Gabbledefloop!
Here is a video project I have been working on. Enjoy!
There is no absolutely no reason why I should admit this since no one was around to see it happen, but as I am somewhat intoxicated I’m going to anyway.
Moments ago, while on commercial break from The Suite Life of Zac and Cody on the Disney Channel, there was a commercial talking about the scheduling of their other programs. At one point they mentioned when the show Phil of the Future would be on and showed a clip of that show’s star, Ricky Ullman, eating a plate of ribs.
I yelled out, “Hey! That was a clip from That’s So Raven!”
That’s correct. From one 2 second clip, I could tell that it was from the episode of That’s So Raven that Ricky Ullman guest starred in and not in fact from his own show.
This is my Saturday night.
Someone please be my friend and rescue me from my pathetic existence.
http://www.myspace.com/rhymington
Listen to this song and think of me, for today, I am twenty one years old.
I have watched this cartoon so many times.
Check out this very Christian video about Free Hugs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXIJOsi6EMI
Around 4 minutes and 33 seconds, witness me being one of the few people who says no to the hug. Take that, Jesus.
I’m sorry to make you sit through that much of the music.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1802175110
A fat guy with a moustache is truly the voice of God, wouldn’t you agree?
I recorded a new song called “I Wanna B N AC/DC!” Listen to it at my myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/shaynelechelt
Colin helped out with recording, mixing, additional guitars, and background vocals. Thanks Colin!
The scene begins inside Walmart. Though it is meant to be the Walmart near my apartment, the inside is significantly different from the layout of the true Walmart. It has become a maze, difficult to navigate.
Brian and I are shopping for our weekly groceries. Brian has gone off in search of something, while I am in the chip aisle with the cart. He finds what he is looking for and we continue on. He decides he needs alcohol.
Brian decides he wants Miller High Life, the champagne of beers. The cans in the cooler are much larger than in real life. Next to them there is a large container that looks like the container for liquid laundry detergent, yet appears to be filled with Miller High Life. Brian goes for that. It turns out, however, that it is indeed laundry detergent. He puts it back and decides that he does not want beer.
A young woman has suddenly appeared at our cart and is stealing grocery bags from us. Why did we have grocery bags prior to checking out? She says something to Brian and calls him “Babe.”
Brian grabs a four foot box of wine and puts it into our cart. He takes the cart and we separate; he goes to get microwaveable corndogs, burritos, and the like, while I go to get a filter for my water purifier and conditioner.
Suddenly, the book section of Walmart has grown. I look around, wondering where to go to find what I need. I make several laps around the growing book section, unable to find the necessary items.
The Walmart now has fully morphed into a Barnes and Noble Bookstore. On my third and final lap, I notice a familiar length of long, curly brown hair and a greenish purse.
“Hey, Suzanne!” I call out.
“Shayne!” She hugs me in a tackle and we fall to the floor.
From behind, Leigh Taylor makes some joke. Suzanne disappears and Heather Stephens arrives. Soon Colin comes up as well. They are all ready to purchase their books. I am worried that I will be seen as shoplifting, as I brought a book with me from home. I believed it to be Vladimir Nabokov’s Pale Fire, despite the book stating that the author’s name is P.F. Kittenburg [I believe the name may be derived from the book, P.F. standing for “Pale Fire” and the main character of Pale Fire being named Kinbote]. I have no problem leaving the store.
There is no parking lot. There is an expansive green field unlike any I have ever seen. There is a path made of pebbles which we follow for a long time before I wake up. My head is pounding. I look at the clock. 4:26 PM.
Here’s the second of my memoirs from my writing class. I like this one a lot. It’s pretty long. If I sent it to you before, read this one; it’s an updated version that is better. Anyway, here it is:
Dale was a vampire, but not in the traditional sense. When his fangs sunk into you, it was not your blood that he fed upon, but your personality. The rise of the sun had no effect on him; he never cowered at crosses; his skin would not melt when doused with Holy Water. I never found out exactly what his weakness was, although I think a stake in the heart might have done the trick. His weaknesses certainly did not include insults, threats, or “I hate you, Dale.” These simply bounced off of him, either ignored or somehow unheard.
Ah, but of course, as with every tale of vampires, the problem began with my friends and me. If you are familiar with vampire lore, you are aware that these soulless beings are unable to enter a home unless invited. We welcomed him with open arms. Dale had just transferred to our high school, carrying only a light backpack and a heavy heart. He played the part of pathetic stranger to perfection and we took the bait. On our way to the cafeteria one fateful day, Brian, Colin, David, Heather, and I passed by a lonely figure curled up on the floor slowly eating his lunch. My heart seized control of my body and pulled me to a stop. My friends followed suit. We all knew what we had to do.
“Uhh… Hey man… You wanna come eat lunch with us or something?” Brian said to the lump that was Dale on the floor. Dale looked up, his lonely expression having suddenly transformed into an eager one.
“Yeah! Sure, that’d be great!” He exclaimed.
Within days we realized our mistake. Dale was not someone we wanted hanging around. Dale drained the life out of every conversation that involved him, and those precious few where he was absent dealt only with how to get rid of him.
Brian began the conversation. “Guys, this is getting really bad. He repeats our jokes literally seconds after we say them and claims they’re his own. He told me that he really believes ‘our personalities are, like, exactly the same.’“
“Yeah, that’s because he just stole it,” I said.
“Right, well, we have to do something.”
But we didn’t. Or rather, we couldn’t. We tried, but nothing could get him to leave. We told him how unwanted he was, but as I said, verbal abuse had no effect on him. We tried to pawn him off on other people, but they refused to take him. Month after month we tried to escape his clutches, but his grip tightened with every passing moment.
The end of the year was upon us, which meant the band trip would soon be here. Each week our excitement grew, because this year, we were to fly to sunny Orlando, Florida for Disney World. Originally, Dale was not going to be able to go. However, when one of our actual friends became unable to go, Dale took her place, somehow managing to worm his way into a free vacation. We narrowly avoided rooming with him.
Of course, any time we were outside of the room, Dale was there. Following us, copying us, annoying us, never once leaving us. He was turning our thousand dollar vacation into a very expensive nightmare.
The second day of the trip had us at Epcot Center. Epcot, the educational park, is significantly lacking in exciting rides. Filled with many buildings showing off science experiments, countless “slow moving trips through time,” and one potentially exciting attraction known as the Test Track, Epcot’s dullness would prove to be too strong.
Our group explored the park in a dismal funk, waiting for a chance to escape from Dale. Each section we visited seemed to only amplify our dire situation. We rode the world famous “Spaceship Earth,” but this sent us on an incredibly slow fifteen minute ride stuck with Dale. We rode “Journey Into Imagination with Figment” and encountered the same problem. “Ellen’s Energy Adventure”? Another fifteen minutes of torture.
“If we don’t get on something exciting, I’m going to kill myself,” I said. The others agreed. As we walked toward the Test Track, Dale excitedly explained what little he knew about the ride.
“Guys! This ride is supposed to be so good! It’s like the life of a crash test dummy! You ride in a car and you go really fast at a wall! It doesn’t even have a track on it! Guys, IT’S FREEWHEELIN!!!”
“Dale! What the hell is wrong with you? Track is in the goddamn name of the ride! Shut up already!” Colin yelled.
Once we got to the ride, we found that it was under maintenance and would not open until later in the day. We seemed to have no luck.
“Man, that really sucks, guys. I swear that ride would’ve been awesome! Maybe we can get on it later, though. I bet we can find something to do around here. Let’s just keep going…” Dale rambled on.
“Oh my God,” I whispered to Heather. “This is unbearable. We have got to do something. We need to get away from him.”
Our getaway took place in the Innoventions building. This building features many inventions and scientific experiments, showing off the wonders of the imagination. A fitting place for the concoction of our brilliant escape. Colin, Heather, Brian, David, and I looked at each other knowingly. Slowly, one by one, we broke away from Dale. Separated from the group, I left the building. I nervously looked around each corner waiting for the others to show. Eventually, they began to come out. First Heather, then Colin, then Brian. Regrettably, David was left behind with Dale. A sad loss to be sure, but all wars have some necessary casualties.
We ran from that place as fast as we could, for the first time on the trip laughing and truly enjoying ourselves. We entered Spaceship Earth again. While it had previously been an excruciatingly long ride with Dale, it was now a peaceful fifteen minutes spent with my best friends. This moment was like a diamond in a puddle of mud—something beautiful and precious in the midst of something ugly and foul. Such a short amount of time spent in such a tedious ride, and yet, it remains one of my favorite memories—a tiny, happy instant with my closest friends.
After the ride ended, Heather and I suggested we make our way to the monorail, a mere fifty feet from where we stood, and escape to another park where they would never find us. Colin and Brian insisted that we go back to the Test Track, located on the other side of the park, to see if it had yet opened. Somehow they persuaded us. We dashed across the park, hoping against hope that Dale would not appear around a corner. As we neared the Test Track, my heart furiously jumping inside my chest, we found that it was indeed still closed. I felt sick, knowing how much time had been wasted. In between large, panting breaths, I angrily rubbed it into their faces.
“Thanks a lot, guys! This little detour has cost us some serious getaway time! Let’s get back to the monorail before they find us.” The others agreed and we quickly went back in the other direction. Soon we were within fifty feet of the monorail station’s gate. With smiles on our faces, we realized that we had actually beaten Dale. Only twenty feet left! We were going to escape this monster at long last! Ten feet!
“HEY! HEY GUYS!!!”
“No… No! There’s no way!” Brian said.
“HEEYYY!!!!”
“Just keep going! We can still make it!!” Colin yelled.
“WAIT UP!!!”
Pain shot down my entire body as I felt my life sucked out through two small holes in the side of my neck.